'A book that writes itself'
For Monte Murphy and his son, Nathan, every day is Father's Day
Nathan Murphy picks the restaurant every week.
Pizza? Mexican? Chicken wings?
Thursday is “Men’s Night Out,” as the Murphy men call it. Nathan and his father, Monte, will grab a table at the place of Nathan’s choice, usually La Parilla or Wild Wing Cafe at River Crossing or Jonah’s on Johnston in Forsyth.
Then, it’s time for bowling at Pin Strikes.
Last year, Nathan convinced his dad to take him ax throwing. After a pause to think it over, Monte drove downtown to Maniaxe Throwing at the corner of Second and Poplar.
His youngest son beat him. Call it a hatchet job.
Life is about making memories, and then making more memories.
Nathan, who will be 28 years old at the end of this month, was born with Down syndrome. Monte cherishes every moment he spends with his son.
“We are all looking for a goal, no matter what phase of life we are in,’’ Monte said. “When you are 16, you are waiting to get your driver's license. When you're 18 or 20, you want to graduate and get married.’’
When you’re almost 28, and your name is Nathan Murphy, you want to eat wings and go bowling with your father. Let the good times roll.
Monte doesn’t count the years with his son. He makes the years count.
“Nathan is a book that writes itself on a daily basis,’’ Monte said. “I am thankful for every day I have with him. It is a blessing and privilege to love him and make his life enjoyable. He makes mine the same way each and every day. It doesn’t get old. I never get tired of it.’’
Nathan is a man of few words, but one word rises above the others.
Dad.
Today is Father’s Day, and Monte is a blessed man. The Macon optometrist has a daughter, Haley, 35, and another son, Jacob, 33. The year before Nathan was born, the Murphys lost a child. His name was Benjamin. He was born with a heart defect. He died in Monte’s arms when he was 1 day old.
Although Monte and his wife, Luann, are now divorced, Monte said they have a good relationship. They are Nathan’s co-guardians.
The family was blindsided in 1995 when Nathan was born with Down syndrome. (Nathan also was diagnosed with a small heart defect, which healed on its own.)
“It was a shock,’’ Monte recalled. “It took some time to soak in what it meant for us.’’
Instead of a burden, it was a gift. They found themselves raising and caring for a young man who loves them deeply and unconditionally. Nathan is gentle and kind, with no resentment or prejudice for anybody or anything.
As a youngster, he was the first child with Down syndrome to play in a regular baseball league at North Macon Park. He also participated in the Miracle League and Special Olympics. He learned to swim, play basketball, snow ski, ice skate and drive a go-cart.
The Murphy family was instrumental in starting the annual Middle Georgia Buddy Walk in 2005 to raise money and awareness and to promote education, advocacy and inclusion for children with Down syndrome. They also helped organize the Down Syndrome Association of Middle Georgia
For Monte, those father-son Thursdays are special. But so are all the others.
Every day is Father’s Day.
“With Nathan, I have a perpetual buddy to do something with,’’ Monte said. “Adult children grow up, become independent, have their own agenda, have their own life, their own worries and distractions. Nathan is going to be my son who, no matter what we do, he is good with it. He never complains. He never says he wants to do this and doesn't want to do that. He is never in a bad mood.’’
The son has made his dad proud. The son has taught him patience, understanding and the importance of being active and engaged in his child’s life.
“Children are not trophies to make us look good,’’ Monte said. “They are a glass to pour what is in our life and fill it full.’’
What a beautiful story. A beautiful tribute to Father's Day!!! I salute this amazing Father!!!