How I met your mother

A letter to my sons

Dear Sons Ed, Grant and Jake:

You have heard me tell the story of  how I met your mother, but I have never written it down for you.

I used to think a lot about the girl I would marry. I would look up at the stars and wonder who she was, where she was and if she was looking at the same stars. 

There were plenty of girls I thought I might marry. There were a few who probably thought they might marry me. But it wasn’t in the stars.

At the University of Georgia, I wanted to be cool and join a fraternity. I wanted to party and have dates with pretty sorority girls. Maybe one of them would be  the future Mrs. Gris.

During rush, the fraternity I wanted to be in did not offer me a bid. I went from being rushed to being crushed. It’s not easy to deal with that kind of rejection when you're not even 20 years old and still trying to find your way in the world.

They say when God shuts a door, he opens a window. I believe the day I did not get into that fraternity he shut a window and opened a door.

A few months later, I was walking past an open door in my dormitory.  I heard someone call my name. It was Cal, a guy from one of my journalism classes. He invited me in to visit. When I sat down, I noticed three  Greek letters on his bulletin board.  He told me he belonged to a service fraternity. There was a social component to the fraternity, but the major emphasis was on service projects on campus and in the community.

He invited me to attend a meeting at Memorial Hall, No rush. No bids. No obligation. Just show up.

I became a member of the spring pledge class. I made lifelong friends … my  brothers.  I still stay in touch with many of them. I went Atlanta two weeks ago and had dinner with Cal and Ken, another fraternity brother.

The fraternity instilled in me a heart for service. I carried it with me when I graduated and began my career with The Macon Telegraph newspaper. Once I got settled in Macon, I signed up to be a volunteer with Big Brothers/Big Sisters. For the next four years, I mentored a young man from a single-parent home. I believe I made a difference in his life. I still keep in touch with him and his family.

Not long after I got involved with Big Brothers, a cute little Mercer University cheerleader was hired as a social worker. She called and said she had been reviewing my case file and wanted to meet with me at her office.

When I walked through that door, I knew she was the girl I was going to marry. 

Turns out, she had been looking at those same stars under the same sky for all those years, too. We simply had to wait for life to bring us together. We are both people of great faith.

We were married on July 24, 1982 at the Newton Sanctuary on the campus at Mercer University. Monday is our 41st wedding anniversary.

I often think about how different my life would be if I had gotten my wish and become a member of that fraternity.

My great disappointment – the road not taken – led to my greatest blessing.

I am married to my best friend … your mom.

Love, Dad