Pomp, circumstance and sunscreen
If you don't want tears in your eyes, make sure you get the sweat-proof stuff
One of the greatest pieces of graduation advice was not delivered in a commencement speech inside an auditorium filled with pomp and circumstance. It was published 28 years ago in the Chicago Tribune by a newspaper columnist named Mary Schmich.
It was an essay titled “Wear Sunscreen.”
“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97,’’ Schmich wrote. “Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.’’
Makes sense to me. I only wish I had followed that advice two years ago when I was a teacher at Stratford Academy and graduation was held at the football stadium on a sun-splashed Saturday morning. Teachers were required to attend in cap and gown.
It began at 9 a.m., and I guess I didn’t think the sun was going to get high enough in the sky for SBF 50 to be an issue.
I was wrong, of course. I was looking directly into the bright sun for almost an hour, and my face fried like bacon in a cast-iron skillet on medium-high.
I spent the next several days explaining how and why I got blistered. Mortar boards don’t provide the same shade protection as baseball caps and floppy hats.
I thought I was prepared the following year, but apparently I used a brand of sunscreen that, while high in UV protection, was not as “sweat resistant” as billed.
It was a warm morning, and it ran like a river into my eyes, as if someone had doused me with tear gas. I was miserable. A teacher friend offered me some tissue, but my tear ducts were like a busted sprinkler head.
Halfway through the commencement, I had to close my eyes. I guess those around me thought the valedictorian’s speech had put me to sleep.
When the ceremony was over, my suffering was not. Several students came up afterward and wanted to have a photograph taken with me.
They noticed those puddles on my cheeks.
“It’s OK, Mr. Gris,’’ they said. “We know you’re going to miss us next year, but you don’t have to cry.’’
I didn’t have the heart to tell them.
I should have endorsed sunscreen.
But never let them see you sweat. Your eyes will thank you.